Oprah Out of Control Poem

I have seen many horrible headlines
Of disasters on land and in air;
I have watched documentaries with breadlines
And pinched faces defining despair.
I have stood on the shores of the ocean
While the storm-surges darken and roll,
But I never heard such a commotion
As Oprah out of control.

I have seen Jenny Jones stand as witness
And Geraldo go down on his back,
Kathy Lee giving lessons on fitness
And Montel telling how to be black.
I have watched Jerry Springer take cover
When a guy finds his filly’s a foal
Or a girl finds a girl is her lover:
But Oprah out of control?

Oh, I hope that the world will be saner
When the talk-shows at last reach an end,
When poor mom needs no guard to restrain her
And a friend kisses only a friend.
But I cling to my pillow—it’s so soft—
And I shake to the depths of my soul,
And I shudder, in spite of my Zoloft,
At Oprah out of control.

R. S. Gwynn
first published in Light Quarterly, no. 32, Spring 2001